


(If You Loved Me) Why'd You Leave Me?

by Absolute_Trash37



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Don't read if you want to be happy, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Hurt, Minor Violence, No one is spared, Sad, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-01 18:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolute_Trash37/pseuds/Absolute_Trash37
Summary: Everyone in Kara's life has left her, in one way or another. Here's how.





	1. Mon-el & Winn

Kara knew it was too good to be true, she knew he couldn't stay, Mon-el had been in the future for longer than he had been with her, even if she still loved him, and even if he still loved her, she knew that the Legion needed him.

They had talked on the balcony the night he decided he was leaving, but just before he, Imra and Winn all went to the future, he pulled her aside. He took her hands in hos own and took a shaky breath.

“I know you might want me to have something to remember you by, but I don't need an object for that. My attitude, my personality has all been shaped by you, that's what I'll remember you by,” Mon-el placed something in Kara's hand before he pulled away. “I don't need that to remember you. You should have it, not me.” Kara looked down at her mother's necklace with tears in her eyes as she pulled Mon-el in for a hug. 

With Mon-el it wasn't as difficult as she thought, this time she had closure, and she had already accepted that a relationship with him was impossible and she couldn't do that again, she had prepared to say goodbye to Mon-el, she knew in one way or another it was inevitable. 

Saying goodbye to Winn was so much harder. She hadn't expected to ave to say goodbye to a man that had become such a constant in her life, a man she looked at as her brother. He was the first person she told she was Supergirl, and he was such a good friend for so long, he helped with her sunny demeanour when she couldn't pull it off on her own. She knew how much he feared that he wouldn't be able to do anything for the world, but going to the future would do exactly that. He'd save it, he'd be a superhero just like the ones he'd looked up to for so long, and Kara couldn't be selfish and keep him from that life.

They exchanged words and hugged tightly, Kara nearly crushed his bones but he didn't mind, he'd miss her too. He'd miss being greeted by her large smile, or hearing her bubbly laugh, he'd miss the game nights and holiday parties, and he'd miss working with one of his closest friends. 

But of course, after the drawn out goodbyes, it was time, and Brainy apologized to Kara as the ship flew away, Winn taking the AI's place.


	2. Sam and Ruby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this takes place within a month after Winn and Mon-el left

Kara almost expected it when Sam announced that she wasn't going to stay in National City. She knew that the entire city must have been a painful reminder of Reign and what she'd done. 

“I just don't feel like I have the right to live in the city that I terrorized, and Lena, you're back in control of L-Corp and I just feel like it'd be beneficial if Ruby and I got some sense of normal again, in a city without major superheroes.” Sam admitted, and Kara almost heard Alex's heart shatter, and she watched as Lena's brain built up walls and closed herself off. 

“Will you come back?” Kara asked, brow furrowed and heart aching, she loved the “Aunt” roll she and Lena had kind of taken on, and the “Mom” roll Alex had. 

“For visits, sure, but not permanently,” Sam answered truthfully. 

“Where will you go?” Lena asked, her heart on her sleeve despite her best efforts. 

“Around, just until we settle down.” Sam answered and Alex looked at the brunette with tear filled eyes.

“When?” Was all the red head managed to choke out. 

“Soon, after we pack, after the school year.” 

While the notification was unpleasant, the farewell party was worse. There was a BBQ, and a lot of tears. 

Before the time to say goodbye came, Alex spent almost every waking moment with Ruby and Sam, Kara spent a lot of time with them as well, but because the Luthor couldn't take another heart break Lena distanced herself as much as she could from the duo.

Even though Lena had distanced herself from the mother and daughter in her preparation to say goodbye, when Ruby hugged her with tears in her eyes, the Luthor teared up herself. It was when Sam walked up and clutched onto Lena for dear life that the Luthor actually couldn't stay behind her walls and cried. 

“Thank you for everything.” Sam spoke boldly as she looked at Lena mournfully. 

“If you need anything, ever, I'm a call away.” Lena said before Sam moved over to Kara and hugged the blonde tightly. 

Sam had become an unexpected friend from the introduction at CatCo, to her being Reign, to now. But she was a good friend none the less and Kara was going to miss the woman more than words could describe.

“I'm going to miss you...” Kara spoke tightly as she hugged the brunette.

“I'm going to miss you too, thank you for saving me, Supergirl.” She whispered the name into Kara's ear, and the Kryptonian froze with subtle disbelief. She knew Sam remembered everything from when she was Reign, and she didn't take into consideration that Reign knew that her name was Kara Zor-el. After that it was pretty easy to connect the dots.

Then Kara watched as Sam walked over to Alex who was waiting with Ruby by the car. 

Thanks to super hearing, Kara could hear the conversation. 

“I don't know what to say, Alex.” Sam told the red head as Ruby clung to the agent's hand. 

“Then don't say anything, just come here.” Alex let go of Ruby's hand to hug Sam as tight as she could before Ruby joined in. 

“Actually, Alex... there's something I need to do and I know it's not fair considering that we're about to leave, but I've wanted to do it for a long time and-” Alex cut off the rambling with a kiss and through tears, Ruby muttered an “about time”.

“I hope I didn't misread where that was going?” Alex questioned after she pulled away. 

“No not at all... I'm sorry.” Sam said again, guilt ridden to confess her feelings only to just up and leave. 

Alex, Sam and Ruby hugged again and Alex mumbled a soft “We'll see you soon.” to the two women before she courteously opened the car door for Sam. “Drive safe.” Alex encouraged before Sam and Ruby drove away, waved on by Lena, Kara and Alex. 

The three woman hugged sadly after the car was out of view. It felt as though the Super friends had split up just a little bit more, first with Winn, now with Sam and Ruby.


	3. J'onn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place about a year after the finale

Honestly, Kara and Alex didn't see J'onn much in the year after he retired from the DEO, but they appreciated every moment they spent with him. J'onn had been a father figure to both Alex and Kara and the girls had been like daughters to the Martian, so when he decided he wanted to go back to Mars, it was a long process. And every day of it hurt.

“I just, I feel like it would be the best place for me right now, I could connect with M'gann again, I could help stop the rest of the White Martians, I could get my father's home back. I could make him proud. Bring back the places that made him happiest.” J'onn told the two girls shortly after he'd considered going back to his native planet. 

Kara wanted to be supportive, especially after she had been so ready to leave National City for Argo, for her mother and her species, but she hated this. She hated all of it, so many people in her life were leaving and she didn't want to let J'onn go, not now. 

Alex hated it too, she said goodbye to Sam and Ruby, and she didn't want to say goodbye to J'onn so soon after saying goodbye to M'yrnn. Alex wasn't ready to say goodbye. But they were here, beside his space ship, saying farewell.

“You need to do what makes you happy, what you think is right.” The older Danvers sister spoke through her tears despite everything inside her wanting to tell him to stay with them. 

“You have to keep in touch.” Kara ordered as she tried to be scary but her tear soaked cheeks didn't give off the same attitude. 

“Of course I'll keep in touch, it's not permanent, I'll be around, just not quite as much.”

“Rao I'm going to miss you,” Kara spoke out as she and Alex moved in to hug their SpaceDad. 

“Ditto.” Alex mumbled out into J'onn's shirt. 

“And I'll miss you girls so much, but it'll be easier knowing you two are safe, Alex you're already the best Director that the DEO has ever had, and Kara you're an amazing superhero. You two are amazing and you'll be just fine.” J'onn squeezed them in true Papa-bear fashion. 

“I miss you already.” Alex spoke honestly. 

“You have no idea.” J'onn answered before he backed away. “I love you both.” He said as he got in the car and started the engine.

“I love you too.” Both girls said in unison as they watched him begin to drive off, and soon he flew. 

Kara ticked off another person who left her. Her parents, Krypton, Kal-El, Jeremiah, Astra, Mon-el, Sam and Ruby, and now J'onn.


	4. Lena Luthor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place just over four years after season three finale and six years from Lena's first appearance.

Kara should have known, she should have expected it. She should have been there sooner. 

Nothing changed in the last six years, Lena Luthor was still always being threatened, with an email or an assassination attempt, so Kara should have known.

Lex was a scumbag who wanted nothing more than Lena out of his way, Kara should have expected it.

But she didn't. Kara didn't do a thing, but here she was watching the security footage, the footage that she wished she was in, but she wasn't, Lena needed her and Kara was too late. She'd regret it forever. 

_Lena was working late again, she had taken an hour or so off to have lunch with Kara which was now kicking her in the ass, but it was worth it because she got to spend time with the young woman. Every minute with Kara was worth it. Even more so in the year they'd been together._

_Lena just poured herself a glass of water and was now looking out her large window, she loved her view of National City, she wished that she could share it with Kara on more than one occasion. Lena took a drink from her glass when she heard her office door close._

_“Hello, sister.” Lena dropped her glass instantly, frozen._

_Lena had never been so scared in her life as she turned around to face Lex, her maniacal brother._

_“How the fuck are you here, how the fuck did you get past security!? JESS CALL 911!” Lena yelled out, she knew it was hopeless. She prayed Kara would fly through that window and save her, even though she had a feeling no such thing would happen._

_“Why so scared, Lena? Think I'm here to get revenge for everything you've said, for putting our mother in jail? You built that MONSTER a FUCKING STATUE IS THAT WHY YOU THINK I'M MAD!?” Lex's tone went from calm and collected to angered and crazy in a millisecond and he pulled out a pistol. Lena took a shaky breath and gulped. “You shouldn't be scared Lena,” Lex reassured._

_“SUPERGIRL!” Lena screamed out in hopes of getting Kara's attention._

_“You should be fucking terrified.” The bullet started by tearing through Lena's chest, then it shattered the widow pane which made Lena's fall even more painful. The Luthor writhed and choked on her own blood._

Kara stopped the video and choked back a sob, she knew what happened next. She'd never forget it. 

_Lena speed dialed Kara and loosely placed the phone on speaker._

_“I'm on my way, Lena, just hold on, I'm almost there!” Kara yelled out moments before she landed next to Lena's body._

_“He broke out...” Lena choked out weakly as Kara tried to stop the bleeding. “Lex is out.”_

_“Shhh, shhh, it's okay, stop talking, just stay with me.” Kara sobbed out as she tried to figure out what to do, she had already called Alex, terrified and told her to get over to L-Corp as soon as she heart Lena scream. Kara couldn't move Lena herself without making the Luthor lose more blood._

_“Lena, stay with me, you're okay, you're going to be okay, just stay with me.” Kara begged the dark haired woman in her lap. Kara couldn't lose Lena not like this, not now._

_”Kara,” Lena choked out weakly. “I love you...” Lena muttered out._

_”No, no no, don't do this, not now, you aren't leaving me, stay with me, please. Don't go, don't go. Please, Lee, please. Stay.” Kara begged as Lena's blood soaked her hands. “ALEX WHERE ARE YOU!?” Kara yelled into her comm._

_”You made me... happy, Kara, and you saved me more times than I can count. I-I could never thank you enough... I-I'm sorry,” Lena blubbered out as she got weaker._

_”No, please Lena please don't do this don't give up, fight for me, please, Lena, please.” Kara begged. She felt Lena's hand go slack from where it gripped onto Kara's arm, and Kara screamed for help as Lena's eyes went from looking into her own to staring through the night sky. “NO! Help! ALEX HELP!”_

Kara would never forget how Alex and other DEO paramedics rushed in and tried to save Lena, when they were too late, and Kara couldn't bear it anymore. Inconsolable, it was that night when Kara flew off the L-Corp balcony, despite how Alex tried to stop her, and hunted everywhere in National City for Lex Luthor, it took her a while but she finally found an old warehouse that was half enforced with lead. It was that night when she used Lex Luthor as a punching bag and screamed at him, accused him of being a hypocrite and a monster. Every time Kara watched his blood splatter on the pavement she reveled in it. 

Every time he begged for his life, Kara laughed.

It was that night Kara took a life, she beat Lex Luthor to death with her bare hands as she cried, furious and broken.

Lena would have called Kara a monster, but Lena didn't have a say, Lena left her.

Rao knew that the headlines had nothing but joyful words directed at the hero and venom directed at Lex Luthor. Lena was painted as an innocent and unfortunate victim. 

No one could figure out what pushed Kara to kill, they all knew Kara loved the Luthor, but that love wouldn't make her kill, it would have kept her from it.

Only Kara knew why.

Kara saw Sam and Ruby again the day of the funeral, J'onn too, he gave her some words of wisdom that she truly needed as she said goodbye to Lena. 

Kara laid the red rose on the coffin before she laid her palm flat on the wooden box. 

“I'm sorry I wasn't there.” Kara began to cry as she pulled her hand into a fist, successfully leaving marks on the casket. “I miss you.” 

Kara almost didn't remember the certainty of death. Her mother was alive, so were plenty of her kind. That comfort and security went to Kara's head, and now she remembered the certainty of death.

She knew she was never going to see Lena Luthor again, and this goodbye would scar Kara for life.


	5. James Olsen

Kara told him, she told him so many times. 

He was human, all he had was a suit of armour and a shield, he had been hurt so many times and she told him, god did she tell him. She just wanted him to be careful, she wanted him safe. She couldn't lose him too, not after Lena. 

No matter how many times she warned him, he still went off on his own, his still was a hero, and of course, like so many heroes do, he got hurt. And she couldn't save him this time. Of course James did something reckless and selfless and it got him killed. 

Kara tore through the rubble of the fallen building, piece by piece until she found him. He was covered by his shield, but when she threw it aside, she was met with James staring up blankly at her, mask off. 

“No, James, James!” Kara turned him over just to gag at the amount of blood the rock embedded in his scull caused. “Rao, no, James!” Kara shook him pointlessly. “No... please no...” 

It had been five years since she buried Lena, it was still too soon to bury another friend. Kara didn't know why he'd take off that damn mask. She knew a kid was probably scared and he wanted to calm them down, but still, it was dangerous! That shield was strong, not strong enough to hold up a fucking ceiling. He should have been safer because she had to blame all the tears on someone, and he wasn't here to defend himself. 

This was easier than Lena... she watched Lena die, she knew exactly what happened, she felt the last breath of air leave Lena's lungs.

James was gone when she found him, yes it was easy enough to put the pieces together but still, it wasn't as close. Lena was the first person who Kara knew exactly how they died, other than Krypton. James, Kara knew how James lived, and that was a better memory.

Kara watched brokenheartedly as Clark said goodbye to Jimmy Olsen with a red rose, and she couldn't bring herself to say anything as she laid down her own red rose for the fallen hero. 

Alex held onto Kara tightly as she cried once more, for another lost friend.


	6. J'onn J'onnz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is twenty years after the season 3 finale

Nineteen years after she had originally said goodbye to J'onn, and now Kara and Alex had to do it again. M'gann had come to Earth to notify them of his passing, he tried to tell them, to make it back, but it was just too late. 

So now, Alex and Kara had the honour of being brought to Mars to watch the Martian burial ritual M'gann learned just for J'onn. It hurt all women, but especially M'gann and her and J'onn's son, M'yrnn after his grandfather.

Kara and Alex sobbed to each other for hours after they returned to Earth. Alex had lost her second father figure, and Kara lost her third, it crushed both of them in it's own way.

J'onn's lost caused Alex to be significantly closed off from people, she lost a lot of compassion for everyone but her sister, and it wasn't something she could come back from.

The thing with Kara was that she was already broken, she felt like she had lost everyone she'd every cared about other than Alex. 

Her parents sent her away and then Krypton was destroyed.

She came to Earth just for Kal-el to leave her with people she didn't know.

Jeremiah was taken to protect her.

Astra wasn't of sound mind and she died too.

Cat Grant left to go on to something bigger.

Mon-el had to leave to survive, and he got married in the future and then came back just to leave again.

She found her species alive, she found her mother alive, but she couldn't stay with them. 

Winn left to be the hero he's always wanted to be.

Sam and Ruby left and didn't visit, not after Lena.

Lena died in her arms.

She couldn't save James.

Her mother died for real three years a go.

J'onn left and he did keep in touch, but now even if he wanted to he couldn't because he'd passed. 

Kara was already broken, this just added insult to injury.


	7. Cat Grant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the twenty five year mark, five years after J'onn died.

Kara was now convinced no matter how kind you were, or how knowledgeable, how brave or how fucking smart, that you weren't safe. 

Cat Grant was a God, simple as that, and she wasn't saved from the bullet that pierced through her skull, outside her own home. Even if she'd known, Kara couldn't have flown fast enough, Cat was gone as soon as she hit the ground. Soon the story became clear that a Lex/Lillian Luthor sympathizer was furious at the newly revealed information that an old president was an alien, tried to take a hit on her, ad inevitably hit Cat instead.

Kara didn't know how to react, Cat had given Kara opportunity after opportunity, and if Kara was in a bad place she could call Cat and the older woman would solve it with a single sentence. At one point, despite being invulnerable herself, Kara thought Cat was a God. The Queen of Media was so powerful, held herself so well, was so well-spoken, and so blatantly badass that it wasn't hard to see why everyone held her on such a high pedestal, Kara included. At the same time, she had seen Cat twice in the last twenty five years. It didn't make it hurt less

Kara didn't know how to react, so she didn't. She compartmentalized and in all honesty, it hurt far less than grieving.


	8. Lucy Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twenty eight years after the season three finale, Lucy Lane is found and lost.

Of all people, Kara did not expect Lucy Lane, General in the Desert for eighteen years, Missing in Action for eleven, to call Alex.

Once the woman hung up, she went into full Director drive. Alex had teams marching out of the DEO left and right while she pinged Lucy's location, she was half dead and Alex wasn't losing another person on their side, not like this.

It took hours for the DEO vehicles to arrive to the location, but Alex and Kara got there in less than thirty minutes. It was an army bunker, probably not far from Area 51. Brainy had their backs at the DEO, so the two girls went in on their own.

Kara fought her way easily enough, so did the aging Alex, aside from the bullet the older Danvers took to the shoulder.

Eventually, they made it to where Lucy was being held.

It was a terrible sight.

Lucy's hair had started to grey, both her eyes were swollen shut and splits in her face made more surface area covered in blood than clear. Lucy looked like she hadn't seen sun in years, which was likely accurate. Her shirt was in tatters and the skin that was visible was either cut open or littered with bruises. One of her knees was clearly dislocated, and the other leg was gone from below the knee. It looked like someone sawed it off ad then messily stitched it up.

Kara used her x-ray vision and saw that many of Lucy's bones were fractured or cracked as well. Kara also spotted something metallic, Kara returned to her normal vision and saw a bullet hole in Lucy's side. She had been shot. Recently.

Kara and Alex rushed to close what they could but from all the dried blood, entry points were hard to find. 

“Took ya long enough...” Lucy muttered out very weakly as Alex lifted her chin.

They kept Lucy stable for as long as they could, but in the DEO's medical van, Lucy's heart gave out twice. 

They made it to the DEO, where Clark and Lois waited anxiously, they knew it wasn't good, Kara made that clear over the phone, but they didn't know how bad it was and when they rolled Lucy out of the vehicle, Lois nearly collapsed as she tried to tend to her sister and comfort a very weak and half unconscious Lucy.

Kara felt for them that day, she really did, but she didn't shed a tear, she learned her lesson with Cat's unfortunate end. At least Kara found comfort in the fact Lucy would be able to see James again and so many of the other people who died. Maybe James would introduce Lucy to Lena, Kara always thought they would have gotten along. 

That night, Lucy Lane died surrounded by her friends and family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also if anyone questions my math in the first sentence, I counted from when she left (aka season 2)


	9. Kal-El

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still within the 28 year point.

Kara used to believe that the good guys always won.

Even though she's lost so many people that she loved, and even though Rao would not give her a break, she always saved the day. Kara saved thousands more than she ever lost, and she thought that the good guys always won, even if they lost others in the process.

Then Lillian Luthor resurfaced. She had broken out of jail years prior, and was now merely an elderly lady to many, but she had fire power, something she boasted about when she hacked the television and radio networks to broadcast the fact that she now held Superman hostage. 

Kara watched the broadcast helplessly, watched Lillian rant about how aliens, especially those who called themselves “heroes” were just trying to manipulate and take over Earth.

“Years ago, my own daughter built a statue, a statue, to praise these monsters! Four years later, she got what she deserved. My son, Lex Luthor killed her, but then, Supergirl took away the only person I cared about! She killed my Lex.” Lillian took a moment to walk back to a half unconscious and kryptonite bound Superman, and Kara busted off a piece of the table in worry. 

“Now, Lena is already dead, and I could not get close enough to Alex Danvers, Supergirl's right hand, but I got Superman. So Supergirl, you ruined my family,” She unsheathed a kryptonite blade and Kara began to pray in her native tongue. “Now I am going to take yours away.” Kara let out a cry, before she shot her heat vision at the wall. Without another word, Lillian Luthor sliced Kal's throat. Superman was dead. 

And the world fell silent.


	10. Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> year 29

Brainy went back, briefly, so very briefly, to the future. He just wanted to check on everyone, see the progress they may have made. 

Kara knew it was bad when he didn't come back. She still waited, her and Alex—two of the remaining three original DEO Agents (Vasquez being the third)— for Brainy to come back.

It took too long, they knew that almost immediately, but he finally came back. And he needed help as soon as he stepped foot on the ground, he coughed horribly and it was clear that even standing was a struggle. 

“What happened!?” Alex asked as she and Kara went to support the AI. 

“Evil One... everyone is dead. They're all gone, the league, Mon-el, Imra, Winn...” Brainy looked up at the Danvers' reaction to the news sympathetically, and they were clearly taken back by the new information. “As soon as he realized I had returned, he hit my kill switch, I'm dying, I couldn't fight... I couldn't do anything, I'm sorry...” Alex and Kara laid Brainiac5 down on the steps as they tried to save the AI.

“I'm shutting down... now...” He mumbled out and neither woman could figure out what to do in Brainy's last moments, they tried their best but his damage was internal, fatal, and they couldn't have done anything.

The AI didn't last long and when he finally shut down, Alex cursed and swore while Kara sat in horror as she thought of what the future had in store.


	11. Eliza Danvers and the Beginning of the End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 36 years after the season three finale

It was so quick, for the first time in her life someone actually left suddenly, unexpectedly and simply.

Eliza died in her sleep at the age of ninety-one. It really took a tole on Alex, it caused the eldest Danvers to finally retire from the DEO at the age of sixty-four and take some personal time. She still consulted with the agency when they needed a helping hand. Even though Alex had always wanted to travel, she never left National City, she never left Kara. She was and always would be there for the blonde.

The blonde just couldn't bring herself to push Alex out of her life like everyone else, she just couldn't.

And Alex wouldn't let her. 

Kara was still Supergirl, even though she was into her early sixties, she didn't look it, at all. Aging seemed to slow for Kara as soon as she hit her forties, and Alex was slightly envious. While Kara still flew around and saved people, she spent a lot—all—of her free time with her sister. They both needed the comfort the other provided. It saved their lives when it got hard. 

Kara always knew that Alex would end up being her saving grace, but she never expected her sister to be the thing that broke her. Not until the day an envelope was delivered to Alex's while the older woman was out on an errand. Kara didn't even mean to use her X-ray vision, it just sort of happened.

And she wished she could have taken it back. Because what she read... it... couldn't be real, it couldn't, no way in hell.

But it was. Far too real. 

_Advanced Giloma_

_A stage four brain tumor._

All too real.


	12. Alex Danvers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one so many of you wanted me to spare.

It was a difficult adjustment, for both of them. Supergirl duties became less important and staying with Alex and keeping her happy was Kara's primary focus. 

She seemed fine, and it scared Kara, and it gave her hope.

Hope that was ripped from her in a matter of weeks. 

Alex was fine, the occasional horrid headache and she passed out once, but she was okay. 

Then she went down hill so quickly, Kara couldn't even keep up.

Everything Alex ate immediately came back up, she had several seizures a day, she got so weak she couldn't stand on her own, she couldn't open her eyes without crying out in pain from the dim light of a room. 

It broke Kara's heart. The pain Alex was in, just to inevitably get worse, made Kara sick. It wasn't fair, Alex was a hero, a badass, and something so mundane and common as cancer was going to be the thing that took her out. It wasn't right, no one should have to go through this, _especially_ Alex.

Kara knew the day of, she just somehow knew. Alex was curled on her side, her head jammed in the pillow despite the room being pitch black and Kara walked in silently and sat next to her sister's bedside.

“Hi.” Kara whispered warmly. “How are you?” Her voice was quiet and soft.

“Not great...” Alex muttered. “Kara, I-”

“Shh... it's okay.” Kara stroked her sister's arm in comfort and Alex coughed. 

“Do you need anything?” Kara asked genuinely despite knowing the likely answer. 

“Turn on the lamp... I-I want to see you.” Alex was barely audible, her voice was extremely weak and raspy. Every word was clearly a difficulty. 

“Are-are you sure?” Alex let out a “uh huh” before Kara obeyed the order. It was clear that adjusting to the light was painful, but the elder Danvers smiled at her sister.

“So beautiful Kara, your soul, your heart, you're still so good... even though you've been through so much heart-ache. I'm so proud of who you are, what you've done.” Alex took a deep and shaky breath as Kara began to tear up. “I don't have much time left, Kara.”

“Don't say that...” Kara pleaded but Alex weakly and shakily grabbed onto Kara's hand.

“It's true, and you know it too, somewhere deep down, you do. You have to keep going when I'm gone. I'm so sorry that I have to leave you Kara, I don't want to, but you can't just let the rest of your life pass you by. And you have, ever since Lena, you haven't truly been living, not like you could be. Fly around the world Kara, travel and laugh. Have fun again... please, Kara.”

“How am I supposed to do all that with out you, Alex? You should travel, you should have been able to adopt, you missed out on so much and now you have to go... how is that fair?” Alex chuckled slightly at her sister.

“It's not, but it doesn't have to be. Just because someone else is hurting or sad, just because someone can't do something, it doesn't mean you can't do it either, believe it or not, you do deserve to be happy, Kara Zor-El.” Just that sentence, just being told she deserves happiness, caused Kara to burst into tears.

“I love you, Alex.” The younger woman spoke through her tears.

“Don't cry, Kara... you should smile more... you have... such a... beautiful smile...”

And soon the fading heartbeat stopped. 

Kara cried for Alex's loss, she cried until she couldn't cry any more, and then she screamed and yelled and cursed Rao's name, and when her throat was raw she cried again and when her tears were dry she destroyed the apartment. 

She wouldn't smile again for a long long time.


	13. Kara Zor-El

Kara didn't die in battle, or in her sleep, she wasn't killed by another hand.

Kara was one hundred and eighteen years old. One hundred and eighteen. She had thrown her cape away years prior, she travelled the world, she tried to enjoy life, and to her credit certain places made her truly happy. Especially Ireland where Lena spent most of her years at boarding school, and Tokyo, the place Alex truly desperately wished to go.

But one hundred and eighteen years of life was enough for Kara, so oe day she purchased some pills from the pharmacy, capsules, to be specific, and she also stole a little bit of Kryptonite from the DEO.

Causiously, Kara crushed up the Kryptonite and filled the capsules. She knew it would hurt like hell while she was awake but as soon as she would fall asleep everything would be fine. It'd be quick.

Kara knew it would hurt like a bitch, and she never knew what swallowing glass felt like but she was sure this was pretty much it. 

Luckily the pain allowed Kara to pass out much faster. For the most part her sleep was normal, dark, nothing of interest. Then she heard things as light very slowly faded in.

“Oh look who finally showed up to the party!” A man's voice said.

“Took you long enough, Little Danvers.” Was that... Maggie?

“Damn.” At this point Kara could make out blurry figures and see that they were all together in a room, something vaguely familiar, but too out of focus to tell.

“Don't get your hopes up, she might go back.” That was definitely familiar, a voice from the past.

“Hello, Love.” Lena. That was Lena, her Lena.

Kara tried to close her eyes as the light soon rushed at her all at once, completely blinding.

When Kara opened her eyes she gasped and nearly cried at the sight in front of her. 

“There she is.” It was Alex, but young Alex, like twenty eight year old Alex, she came up and gave Kara a tight hug.

They were in Kara's apartment, clearly in the middle of a game night. James stood by the counter that was loaded with pizza boxes and bags of pot stickers. Winn was by his side, smiling widely as he chewed. Lucy sat on the floor, beer in hand, next to where Kal and Lois sat on the couch. Next to Lois was Eliza who sent a warm smile in Kara's direction. J'onn came up from where he and M'gann sat at the kitchen island and hugged Kara tightly. Cat Grant raised her wine glass from where she sat in a throne that definitely did not belong in Kara's apartment. Lena stood from where she sat on the floor and came up to embrace Kara in a hug followed by a kiss. Imra, Mon-el and Brainy all sat on the other couch, while Sam sat smiling on the love seat next to where Alex had been sitting. Maggie sat in front of where Alex had been seated. A girl Kara barely recognized came up and hugged her from where she had previously sat on the floor in front of Sam. Soon Kara realized that it was Ruby, but she was at least twenty two.

All of them, except for Ruby, looked exactly the same as they had back when Kara defeated Reign, ninety-two years ago.

"Welcome home, Darling." Lena spoke warmly.

And Kara smiled for the first time in forever.

**Author's Note:**

> so this isn't my best quality work by far and most of the chapters are pretty short. I don't know, pointers are welcome.


End file.
